Colby, you stole my heart.

 meI'm having a bad day. I don't know what is up with today, but I am depressed and tired. I came back from an awesome spring break, and I'm depressed. I promised myself I wouldn't check on the kids while I was on vacation. But I couldn't do it. I had to check on Kate and Tyler. I had to. I couldn't stay away for 3 days. How can I ever go away forever? So, I'm not. I realized even more that, these kids are part of my life. They are part of who I am now. And I can't change that. I like it like that. But days like these aren't great. They absolutely suck.

I miss Colby. A little guy I met while on vacation. Colby is 3 years old. His birthday is in November. Just like Layla's. I will always wonder what day his birthday is. Is it the 15th like Sophie's and McKenna's? Is it the 25th like on of my friend's? Is it the 26th, just like Layla? He had those beautiful blue eyes, just like Layla. I couldn't help but wonder what God put him in my life for. He definitely changed me in just 24 hours. Little Colby. The little guy that I will never see again. I prayed for him this afternoon. For a good life, good fortune, and to hopefully cross paths again. When he gave my that hug in the arcade, he hugged me a little longer than normal. One from him, one from Layla? One may never know. But I know, that little guy stole my heart. I love him with all my heart. I miss the little man. He was such a squirt jumping in the pool saying, "Watch this, girlfriend." He was precious.

Colby, I hope you had fun in the pool today. You won't remember me, but I'll always, always, remember you. I hope you remembered your ball today unlike last night. That beautiful blond hair will get you far one day. You'll be a heart stealer even when you're older. I miss your little voice. I'm glad you were looking out for me when you didn't give me that tootsie roll. I can't chew it with braces and you wouldn't give it to me. I miss you, Colby. You're probably asleep as I type this. Sweet dreams tonight, baby boy. You'll stay with me forever. Love forever and always, Allison.